You know how they say parents should never favor one child over another? Well none of you call me Daddy so what follows is my ranking of the cousins. To be clear, I'm not saying that I'm ranking my cousins in order of "who is better than who" nor am I saying that I hate anyone ranked below Mehran. All I'm saying is that if I had to choose one cousin that I had to hang out with for an entire weekend this is the order I would call them.
- Lindsey - A surprise #1 to be sure but she displayed in Vegas that she was up for doing anything or nothing at all. She kinda just goes with the flow. She has also shown an ability to offer insight to my various musings and she can tell a funny story.
- EJ - Another cousin who is down for whatever as witnessed by his willingness to play for the family softball team even though he sucks; to his credit, he is getting much better through practice.
- Annette - Closest cousin to me in age and I probably share more of a history with her considering we went to the same school on a few separate occasions and she only lives a couple of blocks away. She can also spot a good battery joke quicker than most.
- Austin - Underrated by most other cousins I think. He might be higher if I actually thought he would hang out with family. Probably should be lower down the rankings because he wouldn't.
- Faye - Might be the nicest of all the cousins - name calling aside. I can't recall her ever saying a mean word about another cousin (a cousin's significant other is a different story). So either she's really that nice or she likes to talk behind her cousins' backs. Either way, whether it's a false sense of security or not, it gives the impression that she has all of her cousins' backs if needed.
- Mehran - Hard to peg where this cousin should fall in the rankings. Definitely would have ranked higher before all his troubles started but he is getting passed that and his recent willingness to hang out with family is a plus.
- Oliver - Only see this guy on rare occasion and he doesn't talk all that much but when he does it's obvious that he is very smart and funny.
- Vanessa - Don't know Vanessa that well but I do know that she likes to have a good time and is willing to change her name in order to do so.
- Melanie - I know there's only a four year age difference but Mel has always seemed much more mature than I am and we don't share all that much in common. Maybe if I start my own family she will move up the rankings.
- Roland - Basically, this guy gets low cousin status for his near complete disregard of family (saving only his night out with Faye and Vanessa) on his first trip back home since moving out to Florida. I believe the words are "poor form."
So there you have it, don't know if these rankings are going to be
updated like
other rankings. Anyway feel free to debate these wholly subjective rankings or make your own rankings known in the comments. And I'll totally understand if you all rank me last for doing this.
